Ziklag Zigzag

Ziklag is a place I stayed in many times throughout my life—honestly, you could say I paid property taxes there. Before I found recovery, my mindset was always “poor me” and “God is punishing me.” I looked at all the wrong I had done and thought, “This is why I keep ending up in bad situations.”

No—absolutely not.

The truth is, I chose to stay in Ziklag for many years. I kept paying those taxes.

One day, salvation found me through the gracious rooms of Narcotics Anonymous. I truly believe those rooms were placed in my life to save me and to bring me closer to Jesus—brought to me by the Father.

When I first started believing in a power greater than myself, I began to move out of that old, broken-down house in Ziklag. Not far—just next door, the next town over. I was trying to slowly get away. Pastor Joe said, “You can either be in Ziklag, moving away from Ziklag, or moving toward Ziklag.” At the time, I didn’t realize that even though I was clean and believed in a higher power (without fully knowing who that was), I was still moving toward Ziklag.

My sponsor used to ask me all the time if I had worked my steps. At first, my answers were lies. But as I started becoming honest with myself, I’d say, “Nah, not yet.” That honesty—after a lifetime of struggling with it—was a big first step toward something greater.

He would tell me, “When the pain gets great enough, you’ll work the steps.” And the pain did get great enough—over and over again.

Eventually, I worked through all twelve steps. Even through procrastination, God still moved in my life. My own will often pulled me back toward Ziklag, toward what was familiar.

Then today’s sermon really hit me: some people need to be taken out of Ziklag by our faithful Father. I am one of those people.

Years went by, and then one day, I was saved. In a very dark place—still clean, still in recovery—I found Jesus. I’ve learned that the only way I can truly stay out of Ziklag is to trust in Him, and to keep trusting in Him.

Today, I can say I’m grateful for the pain and the suffering. It wasn’t meaningless. It wasn’t random. It brought me closer to Christ.

All those times I thought, “God is punishing me,” were actually the very things He used to draw me closer to Him. I’m grateful I endured those moments, because the joy the Lord has brought into my life is far greater.

Like the words from worship this morning: “Don’t know when and don’t know how, but You always do it somehow,”

and

“I trust in God, my Savior.”

He always does it somehow. He brings me back from Ziklag and draws me closer to Him.

“Your Father will never abandon you.”

I heard that, Pastor Joe—and I don’t want to forget it when things get hard. Now I know: in those moments, I need to draw closer to God and to His people. God’s covenant of redemption is secure.

God, I’m grateful that You speak through my brothers and sisters in Christ. I’m grateful for both the hard times and the joy You’ve brought into my life. In the hard times, I see You, Jesus. In the joyful times, I see You too.

I pray for my brothers and sisters who are still taking shelter in Ziklag—that they would trust in the Lord and find their way out.

Peace and blessings to all.