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Today we learned about David in Ziklag.

As many of you know, I’m in recovery from 26 years of active drug addiction. I’m sure you can use your imagination to envision all the different Ziklags I’ve passed through along my path.

I’ve lived in some dark places. I’ve hung my hat in many caves.

By God’s grace, I celebrated 8 years clean from drugs and alcohol this past January. God never left me. He always carried me through .

Someone recently said to me, “You’re so happy all the time, always smiling, even with everything you’re going through. It’s awe-inspiring.” She was referring to my epilepsy.

I have two major tests ahead of me: a 28-day stay in Tampa for an sEEG and another hospital stay for 5 days for an Ictal SPECT. All this before doctors will even consider brain surgery.

I’ve learned that joy isn’t the absence of hardship. My smile isn’t because life is easy; it’s because I have hope. It’s because God has carried me through every Ziklag I’ve ever walked through, and I trust Him to carry me through whatever comes next. I may not know the outcome, but I know I’m not walking this journey alone.

Pastor Joe posted this sermon preview on social media this week:

“When life feels like it’s been left in the ashes, that’s often when God’s children see God most clearly.”

Yes! That is my testimony.

When I drift, and I still do occasionally, God calls me back, and sometimes by way of uncomfortable circumstances.

It wasn’t until after my epilepsy diagnosis that I fully reclaimed my faith as a follower of Christ and was baptized again.

My faith is big, and I can see my purpose so clearly now.

There are so many people with epilepsy who are struggling. They’re sad, depressed, hopeless. They don’t see a way out.

They’re stuck in Ziklag. Maybe they don’t even know God yet.

I believe God redeems people, saves us, and then gives us buckets of experience, strength, hope, love, and faith to carry back into Ziklags to help pull people out who are still being consumed by the fire.

I drifted, God pulled me back, and now this is my purpose: to spread God’s love, to share my testimony, to spread the Gospel, the Good News, and to give back what was so freely given to me. And what a blessing it is to be used by God.

This morning, when I knelt at the altar, my prayer wasn’t, “God, please remove this epilepsy from my brain.” It was, “God, thank You. Thank You for the faith You have given me. Thank You for my purpose.”

God, thank You for never leaving me in Ziklag. Thank You for always leading me through. If I drift back into cities of ashes, I know You’ll never leave me there.

Please continue to light the way so I can always find my way home to You.

When I drift, pull me back, even if it means You have to make things uncomfortable for me.