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So how did I become homeless living in a car, sitting in jail, multiple rehabs, detoxes, life support after I tried to take my life... TWICE? ICU after my heart stopped during a seizure. Ewww. How did I get there?

So was all of that spiritual collapse? Sacrifice of my integrity? Yes.

But guess what...

"It was lonely in the dark,
but You were working!
It was painful, it was hard,
but You were working!
All things for my good.
Couldn't feel You at the time,
but You were working!
Full of questions, wondering why?
But You were working!
All things for my good!
When I look back over my life
And I think how good You have been,
my soul sings, "Great is Your faithfulness!"

Pastor Joes Sermon Preview on Socials last week:

Spiritual collapse usually begins in a moment, with a "reasonable" compromise.
#Compromise #LifeOfDavid #SundaySermonPreviews

Pastor Joe Davis said that sometimes we don't know when we’re close to spiritual collapse but God knows!

And thank You Jesus!

In all the times I have been so close to losing it all, and I'm not talking about material losses because I've lost everything 10 times over throughout my life. I'm talking about my faith, heart, soul, integrity, morals, humility, hope... you know, the inside stuff. Me.

God has always stepped in. He has stepped in, over, and over, and over again .

Thats how I got HERE! Gods Grace and His faithfulness, His mercy! This is what He does for His people. It’s what He did for David, Simon Peter, and YOU! If you sat in church and heard this message He interceded for you too.

Even through all my compromises, bargaining and wavering faith, God saw me through every storm, every battle, every dark moment.

Do I still drift sometimes? Yes. Do I put my faith and trust in something or someone other than God for things? Yes. Isolate? Yes. Fear? Yes.

Can these instances cause me to feel convinced that God is silent. Not listening. Distant... yes.

This is a danger zone

1 Peter 5:10 says, "After you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace... will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."

That verse made me think of a popular phrase I hear often... "When the pain gets great enough."

Unfortunately there may be a time that there's no coming back.

1 Peter 5:8 says, "Be alert and of sober mind because the enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”

YIKES!!

I'll stay close to the Father, thank you!

Is there a situation in my life right now that feels practical, but if I'm honest has quietly placed me in moral or spiritual compromise? Yep. Can I change that, YES!

I'm so grateful that my faith in Jesus is strong. I'm grateful for GraceLife Sarasota and my church family. I know that my soul is delicate. That I need to keep showing up, read my bible, redirect my faith and trust in God alone. Take communion and reaffirm my faith in Christ.

Friday night I sat in an old rickety chair at a meeting. Before I sat I had full faith in that chair that it would hold me up. I sat without thinking. I ordered my groceries to be delivered last week without thinking twice, trusting that the shopper would pick and handle my food with care. I ate it. I recently stepped into an elevator trusting it would safely and effectively take me to the floor I needed to go to. I trust my doctors.

Jesus, today I am reminded that every compromise, every bad decision, every dark road, and every storm could have destroyed me. There were so many moments when I was closer to spiritual collapse than I realized. But You knew. You saw what I couldn't see.

Lord, I know my soul is delicate. I know how easily I can drift. I know how quickly I can place my trust in people, outcomes, circumstances, comfort, fear, or control instead of You.

Forgive me for the compromises I justify and the places where I slowly hand over my trust to something other than You.

You are my Father, my Shepherd, my Doctor, my Guide, my Protector, my Provider, my King.

I trust You!

Amen