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The truth is I’ve been struggling. The truth is I’ve not been ok. The truth is I’ve been holding my crown so tightly my hands are bleeding. The truth of Sundays sermon hit me so hard that I felt it in my chest.
How could anyone love me? These words, have haunted me all my life. My crown is not one of foolish pride like Saul’s. It’s guilt. It’s shame. It’s sin. And I’ve been holding onto it for all my life. It’s kept me isolated. Physically ill. The pain of my humanity, of who I was 2 years ago before I met God, of who I still am, has kept me prisoner. And it’s time to let go.
What crown do you wear? Is it pride like Saul? Is it shame like mine? Is it control? What are you afraid to let go of? What is it in you, that you think He can’t handle? What is it that you hide? What is it that you hold onto? What is under your crown?
Let Go. His truth, the truth that physically hit me today, is that I am already loved. Completely. In spite of myself. His truth is beyond me.
And the more I learn, the more, I understand, the more I sit at Gracelife on Sunday mornings with you, the more I realize it is Grace. It is Mercy. His truth, is love.