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Picture this…

I’m skipping through a field of wildflowers. My salt-and-pepper curls are swirling in the cool breeze. I’m barefoot, my feet slightly sinking into the warm soil. I have a huge smile on my face.

No worries. No fear. Just 100% faith in Christ, knowing He reigns over my life and my soul, and that I’m going to be okay no matter what happens.

Well… it may look like that on the outside.

But then church happened today at GraceLife Sarasota.

The praise and worship team started the intro to It Is Well, and the tears started flowing.

And they didn’t stop.

I cried through all of praise and worship.

Then came Pastor Joe’s sermon, and somehow the tears just kept coming. Every question, every “why,” every reminder about the wilderness, the battle, faith, and who we’re allowing to have power over our lives seemed to hit another place in me.

By the end of the sermon, I was completely emotionally wrung out.

Then church ended.

But Dani and I stayed.

We were the only two people left in the sanctuary, and we sat there talking about God, faith, the wilderness, and all the things that are hard to understand when you’re actually living through them.

I cried.

And unpacked.

And cried some more.

It was one of those good cries, you know? The kind where you’re barely able to breathe, tears are pouring out, and somewhere in the middle of it you’re quietly screaming:

“WHY IS FAITH SO HARD?!”

Pastor Joe’s sermon preview from last week had already been sitting in my mind:

“The Kingdom is here now… but the conflict remains.”

UGHHH.

When he rattled off all the “whys” we ask in life, I related to so many of them.

Like Joe said last week (or maybe the week before ), the wilderness we walk through… or, in my case, roam around in… is preparing us.

And then came the question:

What has power over my life?

Who am I letting win?

That one really made me think.

And eew.

Am I letting the enemy win?

We were reminded today that God has already won.

So why am I dancing with the devil?

Why am I sitting across the chessboard from the enemy, looking hopeless, when the King is still on the board?

Have I allowed the enemy to convince me that my life is terrible and that FAITH IS HARD?!

Another eew.

Ick.

Screw him.

Yes, it is a battle. And there will always be a battle.

Christ reigns, but opposition remains until Christ gives the kingdom to His Father.

But the King is still on the board.

And then we read Matthew 28:18:

“Then Jesus came to them and said, ‘All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.’”

Think about that.

ALL AUTHORITY.

Jesus said this after He defeated death.

He’s saying this to us.

And then came John 16:33:

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK, JESUS!!

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

AMEN!!!