Maybe it’s my past. My trauma. My bloodline and my heritage. Maybe it’s just that I am becoming a lover of deep theology. Maybe it’s all of those things, but Sundays sermon felt, familiar.
Maybe it’s because I have felt like Saul. Jealous. Angry. Enraged. Left behind for those I saw as less than. When I made promises of riches and comfort, only to be mocked and ignored. Maybe it’s because I have felt like David. In hiding. Isolated. Waiting. Chosen. Protective of those who chose to stand by my side when they had other, sometimes better options. Or maybe it’s because I have taken the blame for things that made no sense to anyone other than myself.
Or maybe it’s because I have felt Gods calling. And now that I know what that calling sounds like, I realize I have been hearing it for years.
Whatever the reason, maybe for the first time in my life, I understood the scripture read to me today. I felt it deeply. And it affirmed what I know to be true. That no matter how devastating the circumstances we may face, we never face them alone.